“Tinder, tattoo madness and sex addiction” – the retro wave cannot be stopped on private TV. After returning from “Price is hot” or “Go all out”, Britt Hagedorn (Sat1) is now also talking through the week again. And what are you doing at the hip World Cup broadcaster MagentaTV (Telekom)? Just buck this trend!
Instead of recreating the best studio backdrops from the 80s, 90s and 2000s, the pay channel VVIP moderator Johannes B. Kerner (57/new super celebrity category made in Qatar) puts them in a hybrid super studio inclusive 33 meter curved LED wall and 360 degree “Augmented Reality” technology…
Ripe is live from 12/6/2022 Bierhoff gone! Is Sammer coming now?
Difficult to imagine? Just think they fell into a monstrous pool of bubble tea. Colorful bubbles from everywhere! Color Direction: Elderberry. In Telekom German: Magenta.
Videos, flying clouds, an illuminated sofa complete with a turntable, XXL Doha skyline by day and night, etc., etc. It is logical that Commander Kerner and his flagship experts Tabea Kemme (“We are not tournament team that is feared by everyone.”) and Capitano lyricist Michael Ballack (“I know Mbappé’s salary figures!”) stands at a “Star Trek”-style jumbo desk.
audience rating? production costs? Keep everything secret on Planet JBK. You will know why…
While the brain and eyes are still overwhelmed by the chronic overstimulation of SOS during the first broadcast, well-being slowly sets in afterwards. Subscribers talk about the crystal magenta effect…
So it’s no longer surprising when interview guests, including the already gone manager Oliver Bierhoff in shorts, are beamed from Qatar into the middle of the bling bling studio using green screen technology. They last called it “teleporting” at the Olympic Games on the competition channel Eurosport, sinking rows of athletes into the cosmic fog. The technology works for the privately financed professional broadcaster Magenta.
Only sometimes do you see an employee scurrying through a virtual 3D constellation. Hungry for 5 Seconds of Fame? Rather not! Smuggle into Team Hansi? Nobody wants that right now…
The starting eleven crasher! A MagentaTV employee scurries into Hansi’s virtual Spain team
Who wants fiber optics, dear Telekom?!? In the experimental studio in Ismaning, they test the limits compared to ARD and ZDF. Motto: We need more. More of everything!
More games: Magenta is the only German broadcaster to broadcast all 64 World Cup games live. 16 of them even exclusive, most recently the round of 16 England against Senegal.
More experts: In addition to the strong regular cast around Ballack (“Bierhoff gone? That happened quickly! But the pressure on him was also very great.”), Kemme, Fredi Bobic (“The bank must burn”/I’d like less footballer talk) and Lars Stindl ( not as humorous as his Gladbach colleague Christoph Kramer on ZDF) the broadcaster offers new football styles almost every day. Borowski, Cacau, Mustafi, Sammer, Kohler, Terodde (“I must have missed 10 or 12 goals for a Flick nomination.”)…
More brothers: Jonas Hummels, Felix Kroos and Tobias Schweinsteiger are also part of the 1001-strong line-up of experts.
More chichi: TikToker Paul Fischer (invigorating), warm-up and night shift show, tactics and reaction channel.
More depth: In Jan Henkel (“What kind of defensive behavior does Neymar have? None at all, that’s crazy!”), MagentaTV continues to afford the best football analyst in the country, because he formulates them so precisely. Or is that actually his ex-colleague Matthias Sammer, who is in the Henkel body and dissects game scenes like a forensic doctor? I still falter!
hallucinations? Apparently this crystal magenta is starting to work on me too…
Strong expert duo: Champions League winner Tabea Kemme and ex-Bayern star Michael Ballack
Ground again quickly! Preferably with a few sayings from chief commentator Wolff Fuss…
He remembers Poland’s Matty Cash: “With this spotless name, he could also be the managing director of Inkasso Aschau.”
On the DFB debacle against Japan: “Germany loses a World Cup opening game for the second time. 2018 0-1 against the Mexicans who just came out of the hot tub from the cousins meeting…”
Or the most recent Seleção magic: “Brazil let it escalate. Brilliant. Spectacular. And still respectful – not even clowning by Neymar…”
Fuss remains the lighthouse voice at magenta.
Anders: Colleague Christian Strassburger (“Here the goosebumps get goosebumps!”). Unfortunately, he too often belongs to the guild of barkers and is regularly a little over the top when it comes to rowdy and pathos: “Now they’re going crazy here! HALLIGALLI in the Khalifa International Stadium!!!” Straßburger would be stronger if it were quieter.
Puzzles about Bierhoff successor This Sammer interview says a lot
► But the most irritating World Cup confessions in the Kerner galaxy are – you guessed it – mostly delivered by Kerner himself: So we learn that ABBA posters were hanging on the wall in his youth room. “And then later by Jürgen Klinsmann. Oh Lord, what a range!” That, as a consultant, he would also “immediately sign a blind contract” with Jamal Musiala’s “8-year-old brother”. “Quasi as a ‘blue chip’.” Or that Klopp’s buddy Kerner is not a friend of English pubs: “On the way to the counter I’m always afraid that I’ll exchange too many bodily fluids…”
After almost three weeks in the Space Studio, does Kerner confuse a pub with a swingers’ club? One thing is certain: Anyone who watches the World Cup on the Telekom channel (subscription price: 10 euros, can be canceled monthly) will be informed and entertained at Champions League level. Psychedelic borderline experiences included.
But everything like on Britt TV? Please stay sporty!
