Read the chronicle “let’s play young people”
Furie Sur to Surface by Dek Hockey
Table of Contents
My 15 -year -old daughter is ice hockey and dek hockey referee. At the Junior Dek Hockey Championship in Saint-Eustache in July, she was called “bitch”, “slutty” and “little crisse” by a furious mother who had descended on the surface of the play. My daughter still stood her head and the mother told her that she would make her will never come back. In the end, it was the mother who was encountered by the security of the tournament and who almost was expelled from all the surfaces of Dek Hockey. She apologized to my daughter, pretending that she would not have told her that way if she had known that she was a minor … Some parents are crack.
Denyse Roussel
Fence
My 9 year old son plays soccer and last year, I experienced a appalling situation with parents of the opposing team in the stands. These men with the fence at the end of voices abused the young referee, about 14 or 15 years old. I got up and went to see one of the fathers to denounce his deplorable behavior, a verbal altercation followed and everything ended with physical intimidation. During the game, the coach also had behavioral problems and was expelled. It gives an idea of the kind of game! I filed a complaint to the association and finally, the coach was suspended for several games with a fine.
Catherine Lefebvre
Photo Alain Roberge, La Presse Archives
An annoying proximity for young people
I have been basketball referee for over 20 years. In our sport, spectators are often a few centimeters from the field. A place of choice for them, but at the same time a proximity which lends itself to derogatory comments. I have witnessed many unsightly comments from parents, directed to young people, to opponents and of course the officials. I saw parents boarding the field during the game to complain about a decision and young people embarrassed by the behavior of their parents. The RSEQ has a spectator’s charter, several parents would benefit from rereading it.
Alain Désautels
Live from a camping chair
Very relevant article that sums up our big daughter’s baseball season. The proximity that parents have with their children in baseball is a real nuisance. Their daughter is in the stick, they sit on their big campsite chair to complain about all the actions of their children, coaches or referees. Each taking against their child is disputed, the work of a marble arbitrator is equivalent to that of our Prime Minister. It is not normal to have to manage so much anxiety with our children. Baseball is a team sport where the child is often under the spotlight when it is in the mound or stick. It’s already quite stressful for them, you should not add a layer. Violent behaviors of parents on playgrounds, there are some to the shovel.
Maxime Beaulac
“I am a lawyer”
In Outremont, in a hockey match of which my 15 -year -old son was the chief referee, a mother of a player chased my son to the referees’ room because he had asked her coach to silence her in the stands during the match (she was constantly screaming against children of 10 years). My son threatened to give the team a penalty if his behavior continued. After the match, the lady arrived with her daughter by her side and yell at my son. The two referees asked her to get out of the premises, when she shouted “I am a lawyer, I bring my daughter as a witness to this conversation, and I will make a complaint against you”. A large circus.
Josée Prévost
Photo David Boily, Archives La Presse
I have accompanied and coached my children in soccer and hockey in the past 20 years in recreational and more competitive categories. I have indeed noted an increase in disturbing behavior of parents, especially in the past five years. Perhaps it is the education of the new generation of parents who influence their behavior with their children and with authority? I also note this kind of behavior in workplaces with hierarchy, colleagues, regulations …
Xavier Lévèque
What if we ban the parents?
Three years ago, I launched a Flag Football program in my organization of the South Shore. From 25 young people, we went to 350. A radiant success. A real dream of a volunteer. But this dream has gradually turned into disillusionment and dismay. Almost every Sunday, there was an adult who was slipping. A trainer expelled by a 17 -year -old referee, exasperated to get screaming on it. Another who was cheating at the expense of his own players, by “cutting” his bench to only play the best. A mother who followed a 16 -year -old line judge like a shadow, commenting on each of her gestures as if she were in RDS. Spectators out of force, unable to hold back to insult officials. And during this time, the referees-teens, let us remember-exhausted. Volunteers were running out. Me too. So I ask the question: what if we prohibited parents? We leave our children well to school, at the daycare, to the day camp, without feeling the need to settle in the bottom of the class to comment on each gesture of the teacher. Why would it be different in sport?
Eddy Boissy
the Dark Side of Youth Sports: Parents on the Sidelines
The discussions sparked by Alexandre Pratt’s chronicle on the troubling behaviour of adults at youth sporting events have resonated deeply. We’ve received numerous accounts, painting a stark picture of the challenges facing young athletes, referees, and the very spirit of sportsmanship. Here, we present a summary of these firsthand experiences, offering additional context to illustrate the issues discussed and highlighting a pervasive trend of overzealous parental involvement.
From heated arguments to intimidating behavior,these stories offer a glimpse into the escalating pressures and unreasonable expectations that some parents place on their children. The focus on winning, ofen driven by vicarious ambition, frequently overshadows the crucial developmental aspects of youth sports: teamwork, resilience, and the simple joy of the game itself. The testimonies highlight how parental actions are seriously impacting not just individual athletes but also the entire sports ecosystem.
| issue | Example Details | Impact on Athletes | Potential Solutions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Verbal Abuse of Officials (Referees, Judges, Line Judges) | parents yelling insults and questioning calls, even entering the field of play. | creates a antagonistic environment for referees, potentially leading to a shortage of officials; causes stress and anxiety for young athletes. | Enforce strict codes of conduct, clearly define acceptable behavior, issue immediate consequences for violations (e.g., ejection from games, suspension). |
| Excessive Criticism & Coaching from the Sidelines | Constant negative commentary about children’s and coaches performances. | Undermines the authority of coaches, and can cause self-doubt and reduces opportunities for independent learning. | Education programs that encourage positive parenting practices; Designated “parent-free zones” during games. |
| Unrealistic expectations & Pressure to Win | Parents prioritizing wins over player advancement, creating a competitive atmosphere unsuitable for youth-level play. | Creates burn-out and mental health issues in younger people, and discourages the values of teamwork and sportsmanship. | Emphasize the importance of fair play, skill development, and cooperation; educate parents on children’s developmental stages and goals. |
| Threatening Behavior/Aggression | Direct confrontation with players, and aggressive arguments with coaches. | Creates a climate of fear and intimidation; reduces game participation; models inappropriate behavior. | Establish clear disciplinary measures, including banning or suspending parents; involve security personnel if necessary; zero-tolerance policy. |
FAQ: Addressing Parental Behavior in Youth Sports
The following frequently asked questions and answers aim to provide clarity and guidance on navigating the complex issue of parental behavior in youth sports.These focus on current concerns and solutions based on the experiences shared.
- Q: What are the most common types of negative parental behavior observed in youth sports?
- A: common issues include verbal abuse of referees, excessive criticism of players and coaches, unrealistic expectations, and even physical altercations. Many parents struggle to maintain outlook.
- Q: Why is bad parental behavior detrimental to youth athletes?
- A: It can cause intense stress, anxiety, and burnout. It undermines the vital role of coaches, disrupts the flow of the game, and, most importantly, detracts from the core values of the sport: teamwork, resilience, and enjoyment.
- Q: What can sports organizations do to address the issue?
- A: Organizations can implement and enforce clear codes of conduct, provide parent education programs, designate parent-free zones, and establish robust disciplinary procedures. Some leagues now require mandatory parent training before the start of each season.
- Q: What role do coaches play in managing parental behavior?
- A: Coaches must act as positive role models, communicate expectations to parents, and be fast to address inappropriate behavior. They must also support their athletes from outside criticism.
- Q: How can parents themselves improve their behavior?
- A: Parents should prioritize supporting and encouraging their children, focusing on effort and sportsmanship. They should be mindful of their reactions and avoid criticizing officials, coaches, or other players.
- Q: Are there any positive examples of parental involvement?
- A: Yes. Parents who offer excited support, respect the game, and emphasize the positive aspects of participation set a great example. They contribute significantly to the fun and overall benefits children experience in sports.
the stories shared and the data highlighted underscore the urgent need for all stakeholders – parents, coaches, sports organizations, and the athletes themselves – to collaborate to create a healthier, supportive, and more enjoyable environment for youth sports. it requires a collective commitment to prioritize the positive aspects of athletic participation, ensuring that young people can develop both their athleticism and character without undue pressure and negativity from the sidelines.
Worth a look
