CHER ABBY: I have a great life – a wonderful husband and five caring children who are coming of age. I have a successful career for which I am well paid. The problem I face is that at 47, my health is such that I live in debilitating pain every day. I spend my energy getting through my day, evenings and weekends in pain and recovering from my work week.
My husband is understanding, but my friends and family don’t understand. I don’t know how long I can continue like this, but I don’t know how to give up a well-paid career without which my family’s quality of life would change considerably. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated. — TRYING TO REST IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR TRYING: It doesn’t matter whether your friends and family “understand” the challenges you face. I assume you have discussed this at length with your husband. Your next step should be to discuss with your doctor a referral to a pain management specialist. If you are unable to find relief there, you may have to take the financial hit. While this may mean your family will have to make do with less, your quality of life is also important.
CHER ABBY: My wife and I have been together for 25 years and had an ideal marriage. She recently became a baseball fanatic, or should I say, obsessed. She has season tickets and attends wearing her team kit. She got a team license plate and scours the daily sports page for team news every morning. She talks about baseball with anyone anytime, including me, incessantly, despite my lukewarm interest.
At home on game day, she has several televisions on and her laptop and phone connected to the game for fear of missing a second of play. She can talk about each player by first name and family in the smallest details. When her team misses a game or loses, she gets angry and loudly curses the TV. I’m afraid she’s taking it too seriously.
She now brings her portable TV to bed for late games. Needless to say, thinking about baseball in the bedroom has thrown a curveball at our marital bliss. When I bring up interference, she says “most husbands” would love to be married to a “Gamer-Babe.” Can you arbitrate this contested appeal? — STRIPE IN SAN FRANCISCO
CHER RADIANT : Tell your sports-obsessed wife that while most husbands would love to be married to a “Gamer-Babe,” she’s not married to one. Tell her you love her, but you’re saturated with stats and need her to call you back. Explain that the portable television in the bedroom interferes with your sex life, and if she values your marital relationship, she will respect that. Do not wait. Take a stand now, before baseball season resumes.
PS In self-defense, arm yourself with new interests because I have a feeling you’re going to need them.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
