Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Disney
Approach each other, learn from each other, and the palm world will be or will remain intact
Practically speaking, you should choose the right moment for “next goal wins”. Conditions of extreme alcohol hangover, total depression or following a lobotomy are recommended. To say that New Zealand director Taika Waititi’s cheerful football comedy is simply stupid isn’t quite accurate. Although the viewer has to ask himself what is a technical error and what is deliberate nonsense. It’s better to let yourself go and bear your own mild, stupid grin meditatively.
The story goes like this: In 2001, the national soccer team of the USA’s South Pacific territory, American Samoa, suffered the worst defeat in the history of FIFA. After 90 minutes the score against Australia is 0:31. Even in the following 30 international matches there was no success on the most Christian island. A Dutchman is imported from North America and Thomas Rongen is supposed to take care of it as a coach. After three weeks he unites exiled Samoans with the locals and brings a breath of fresh air and discipline into the team. Small successes occur. A documentary of the same name from 2014 tells of these funny events. It is well received by delighted critics and filmgoers around the world.
Stories about underdogs and quirky village owls are grateful because they are simple emotional material. The Walt Disney Company secured lucrative rights five years ago. In between came the Corona years and a sex scandal surrounding the supporting cast Armie Hammer – he was replaced by Will Arnett. “Next Goal Wins” is now showing in German cinemas.
Michael Fassbender plays the drunken coach, a washed-up failure with emotional blockages. He is left with a choice: social welfare on the continent or off to tropical Elba. As soon as they arrive, the hillbillies are shown to be what they remain for 103 minutes: lovable village idiots. There is the whiny, the brutal, the stubborn, the beautiful, the clumsy, the glutton and, that’s right, we are in the 21st century – the trans woman. Immediately – there is indeed a significant obesity problem in Polynesia – they all roll around on the green lawn, which looks more like a lush football field. The American Samoan Football Association uses the original documentary as an anti-obesity deterrent. No joke. And the trans woman portrayed (or representative of the “third gender” in the local culture, played by the nonbinary Kaimana) was the very first in a World Cup qualifier. No joke either.
Hardly any gag ignites or entices you beyond a tired post-alcoholic smile. The coach is a pig, the islanders are incompetent or rude or both. Of course, both parties leave the field with a lot of spiritual knowledge. We know this from the “Indians of Cleveland” (1994), from the “Mighty Ducks of Anaheim” (1992), from the manga “Kickers” (1985–1989). Approach each other, learn from each other, and the palm world will be or will remain intact. There are great landscapes to admire here. Like the actors, you want to jump from the playing field into the ocean.
“Next Goal Wins” is a film that no one was waiting for, but there is no harm in consuming it either. Everyone gets rid of their fat, the white colonial master, his indigenous hosts. The story of the transgender captain is remarkably unobtrusive and empathetic. It’s not just human – everything is comprehensibly human in this sugary-sweet fruit salad of cheap slapstick and systematic pathos.
