Maradona (right) is on the way to scoring the best goal in football history in the 1986 World Cup quarterfinals against England.
Photo: imago/Buzzi
I shuffled listlessly through Berlin-Lichterfelde at the weekend and didn’t suspect anything good on the way to a fourth-rate ball attachment. In times of fading light, people like to look back. I did and immediately saw the soccer king of soccer kings. The biggest of all the little ones was waiting for me at the train station in Lichterfelde Ost – to escape to dreamland with me.
The greatest footballer in history beckoned me over with a graceful wave of his hand of god. “Frank,” he said, looking deep into my eyes. “God Maradona,” I said, and: “Did I draw a Maradona in the tombola of life?” He waved me off and tugged gracefully on the flipper that he was holding very delicately in his left hand. A bottle of beer danced in the right hand. He alternately sucked on the turd and gulped down beer. I pretended that a Maradona in Lichterfelde Ost at the end of January was the most normal thing in the world.
My Argentinian guest wore a jersey from his SSC Napoli. A man like him never froze, because people’s love forever encases the little pig like a cloak of happiness. French musician Manu Chao has Maradona in the big song »La Vida Tombola« erected a final monument. If you look at the video and see in minute 1:50 how Maradona licks his lips and probably starts to cry from emotion (unfortunately the monster sunglasses cover his eyes), the whole life trauma of the little master comes into the open.
On September 14, 1983, 32,000 happy East Germans were able to endure Maradona in FC Barcelona dress in Magdeburg. Maradona scored three goals against FCM. Those who saw him back then never lost the sparkle in their eyes. A strong desire for Maradona haunted the Magdeburg fans again and again. Pommerenke and Steinbach were quarter maradonas. It was many decades before a little dribbling king reappeared in the land of the Bötel with clay and straw (knuckle of pork with pea puree and sauerkraut). Baris Atik is the name of the current Maradona replacement. He plays decently for the second division, even if his magic mouse factor is by no means in the realm of the hand of God.
Maradona’s most legendary goal was the 2-0 in the quarter-finals of the 1986 World Cup. In the 56th minute he was passed the ball in his own half and started his mythical dribbling. Beardsley, Reid, Butcher, Fenwick and Butcher again were the human flagpoles. Luckily, when only England goalkeeper Shilton blocked the way, he finked him, let him reach into the void and pushed in to make it 2-0.
If I were Maradona I would be lost somewhere. If I were Maradona I could never be wrong. Opposing striker Lineker later said: ‘It was probably the best goal ever scored. I’ve never been this close to applauding an opposing player.” Lineker didn’t applaud, perhaps he was shying away from being made into fish and chips back home.
Diego Armando Maradona Franco came from a very poor family; unlike Messi, he knew what hunger was. That’s why he stood on the side of the oppressed, loved Che and Fidel and often happily yelled what a turd the FFIA was. As a hedonistic child of his time, that didn’t stop him from holding out his hand to the world association in the same breath and posing with mafia giants in Naples. The Maradona special was recently published in the »Ballesterer library« of the Viennese football magazine of the same name. Buy the part!
