Messi wins the first desert World Cup in history in the Winter’s Tale final. And you still don’t have all your Christmas presents?
Fortunately, the light is still on in the online department store! My tip: the “OneLove” bandage in a pack of 10 (129 euros)! Grandma, Grandpa and the snotty ones – all with the rainbow on their arm under the tree on Christmas Eve! Of course I asked Gianni megalomania for approval in advance. Did he wave it through, with a nice greeting to Faeser’s Nancy and the Neuendorfer…
TV expert Bastian Schweinsteiger from Infantino (“This World Cup will be the biggest show on earth!”) will no longer be treated quite so kindly in the future. Why? In the ARD final broadcast from Doha, our 2014 world champion formulated his personal farewell protest against the Fifa emir before kick-off. Schweini: “No, Qatar was definitely not the best World Cup! The very best World Cup I have ever experienced was the 2006 World Cup in Germany!”
Childhood vs Present Crazy Messi video leaked
In addition to the most beautiful twirl braid on German football TV, presenter Esther Sedlaczek (suitable in Argentinian blue pants suit), suddenly plain texter Schweini even becomes Basta-Basti in the end! After four weeks in Qatar we can say: Esther and Schweini are now a tournament team!
While for our Hansis the new limit is now called the preliminary round, the ARD duo has continuously increased. Journalistic highlight: the Bierhoff interrogation after the German knockout game against Costa Rica! Emotional highlight: Schweini’s lively appreciation of Messi: “It was the best final I’ve ever seen! (…) I’m so happy for Messi that football romance has written such a story for him.”
Panel of experts in the ARD studio: (from left) Hitzlsperger, Schult, Khedira and Wellmer
Sedlaczek and Schweinsteiger (“The Argentinians love the evil Messi!”) are set immediately – for the team of experts in the studio, however, the first must be counteracted by the home European Championship in 2024! The danger of switching off the cooling chamber quartet around Conférencière Jessy Wellmer (“But let’s talk hard!”) Almuth Schult, Thomas Hitzlsperger and Sami Khedira is simply too great! The mix doesn’t fit…
Unlike the final team Tom Bartels and Thomas Broich in the stadium! Legendarily calm and yet grippingly emotional, they comment on what is probably the best World Cup final ever… The feature film in original tones…
1-0 Argentina!
Bartels: “2 billion people are watching and Messi first closes his eyes before the penalty kick, then he closes it!”
Broich: “From now on, Messi will be mentioned in the same breath as Maradona and Pelé!”
2-0 Argentina!
Bartels: “Di Mariaaaaa! You can’t play it any better. And that in a World Cup final. Angel Di Maria!!!”
Broich: “Perfect! This is football like it is on PlayStation!”
1:2 France!
Bartels: “Mbapé, the excitement is back in the World Cup final!”
Broich: „Content, Mr. Macron!“
2-2 France!
Bartels: “Mbapéééééé, the balance!”
Broich: “This attack is a painting.”
Messi (right) gives Argentina a 3-2 lead in the 108th minute
3:2 Argentina!
Bartels: “Messiiii scores again! Insanity!”
Broich: “Argentina lets the ball run like a pinball!”
Bartels: “10 more minutes and Messi already has tears in his eyes…”
3:3 France!
Bartels: “Macron can’t believe his luck. France pulls its head out of the noose for the second time! How cool is Mbappe please? A stunning finale! (…) I only believe in penalty shoot-outs when the whistle is over…”
Penalties shoot!
Bartels: “For Kane, two penalties were too many in one game – Mbappé converted three!”
Bartels: “Now Messi. Mumbling in!”
Bartels: “That’s it! Argentina is world champion for the 3rd time! Luck is always part of it – the Pope is Argentinian! (…) For him, for him! They did all that for Messi. For her icon. Messi on par with Maradona. Messi is World Champion!”
Broich: “What did Maradona coach Lionel Scaloni once dismiss, that he couldn’t even regulate the traffic in Buenos Aires. Now Scaloni is world champion!”
award ceremony!
Bartels: “At 13, Messi was 1.40 m tall and took growth hormones every day. Now he’s one step away from his crowning glory. (…) Now that Infantino and the Emir have been in the picture long enough, let’s clear the stage for whoever deserves the trophy! (…) Messi didn’t just fulfill a dream. He lifted 47 million Argentines to football heaven!”
Emir Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani puts a cape on world champion Lionel Messi
Closing words from Schweini on the Qatari Emir’s embarrassing cape show: “You take away a really big moment from the player. I didn’t like it either. You can do that in the cabin. I don’t think he’s happy about it either. In my eyes, the action was unsuccessful!”
Messi is now the consummate. World Cup mascot “La’eeb” still not Hui Buh the castle ghost. And Germany’s remaining defense remains a disgrace. What is still missing after four weeks of TV consumption? Right, the nonsense of the World Cup. Here comes the TOP 6…
► OneLove-Binde
► Matchday -1
► Overtime
► Bathrobe
► Rottenfuhrer
► Executor…
Müller, Völler, Klose were executors. Or the long thin one in Jürgen von der Lippe’s 80s show (“Donnerlippchen”). But unfortunately he is already dead: shrinking kidney disease! If no miracle happens, we’ll be storming again in 2024 with Lücke Füllkrug. That’s what we had the most fun…
Until then, enjoy your Christmas gluttony! I’m going on a pig diet for now…
