This Wednesday, April 13, none of the 1,200 licensees of the football section of the ACBB (Athletic Club de Boulogne-Billancourt) will tread the facilities of the Le Gallo and Marcel Bec stadiums. All training has been cancelled. A decision taken by the steering committee “in order to make everyone aware of the upsurge in verbal and physical attacks in recent weeks and in the face of the aggressiveness of some parents towards our educators”.
U14 (R1) coach Thibaut Petitjean, 28, educator since 2011 and member of the Hauts-de-Seine club since 2016, tells us about the behavior of some parents during sessions or matches. Lucid in the face of this situation which embarrasses many clubs throughout France, this sports teacher puts forward some ideas to improve things.
How does the pressure from certain parents materialize?
THIBAUT PETITJEAN. Already, it must be said that this does not concern all parents who, by a very large majority, behave very well. But some call the coach or come to see him after training or at the end of a match, being virulent in their remarks. The biggest problem comes from players who are substitutes, substituted or not selected. Parents may intervene because they do not understand the choice. Other times, there are misunderstandings or they don’t want to understand and this can lead to irritation. Sometimes, parents also come to training to scrutinize what their son and the other children are doing and then have fun making comparisons.
At the start of the season, during a friendly match between the ACBB and Meudon, you had to separate parents from the two teams who were fighting…
Yes, to come to that… It’s hard to control the parents. Some can really freak out with emotion. When we find ourselves in this situation, we say to ourselves that it is not our role to police. These behaviors, which can be serious or less serious, parasitize us. Afterwards, we are no longer so focused on the field side and we can sometimes go through in the formation of the player. We are sometimes a little annoyed when we intervene with kids. If a player leaves the field, it’s not the end of the world. All of these little things can make you want to quit. We can say to ourselves: “Is it worth it to continue training? “I know what I want to do as an educator, so I’m not going to stop, but some of my colleagues at ACBB or elsewhere think so. Sometimes there may also be a lack of communication from our side, although I don’t want to defend the indefensible.
Why do some parents get upset when their son is replaced or replaced?
For them, it is an investment to commute by bringing their child and bringing them back or following them during games and practices. Then, they want to find a professional club in order to almost push the child to succeed in football, whereas, for me, the best way to succeed is to leave the choice to the child and not to constrain him. Afterwards, there are very passionate parents, very in love with their child who try to mark their territory. We have to separate the things between the parents who complain and the others. We could question ourselves, say to ourselves: “We are going to put such a starting player, because the dad or the mom is a pain in the neck”. But, in the end, we never do. We always put on the best because we are nurtured by a sense of justice and equality in relation to the group we own.
Is it a good thing to cancel all training this Wednesday?
It’s a very good idea from our sports coordinator Gilles Bibé who will make everyone react, both parents and authorities. Wednesday is the day of the week when there are the most kids in training. Parents will wonder why their child is staying home.
Could we be led to decree closed doors?
It would be a good thing in training for the kids. There are too many people in the player’s environment and I think it would be beneficial for their learning. On matches, it can be complicated to go behind closed doors, because we are dependent on the facilities. Then, you have to mobilize volunteers, people from the public service or security guards. It’s not simple.
