The Novak Djokovic Story: Why Does Australia Hate Jesus?

Did you catch the news of the week? Australia? No, not these unimportant reports about temperature records of almost 51 degrees. These are all just climate legends highly hysterized by Fridays and Scientists For Future, with which Luisa Neubauer, Greta Thunberg, Maja Göpel and Harald Lesch want to lead us into a prohibition dictatorship.

Even today, airlines like Lufthansa have to be openly looked at by ideology dogmatists and left-green eco-terrorists just because they will be doing around 18,000 empty flights with their jumbos by the end of March alone in order to keep their flight slots.

Well, in the process, completely pointless CO2 emissions are released in the range of about 34 Chinese coal-fired power plants. But that’s really only of interest to esoteric cargo cyclists who also separate rubbish in their free time, avoid plastic or eat meat from factory farming. World saviors neglected by prosperity.

Jesus Has Left The Building

No, I mean the biggest scandal in religious history. Endless generations of theology students will have to deal with this historically unique shameful process when Jesus was expelled from a woodland state like Australia.

Yes Jesus! At least that’s what Maria and Josef of modern times, Srdjan and Dijana Djokovic claim. Her offspring Novak Djokovic, you can’t put it more downbeat, was treated like Jesus by the Australian government this week. However, the New Testament must be rewritten as soon as possible, not like Jesus today, so full of worship, praise and songs and statues.

More like back in Judea when Pilate, sort of like the Alex Hawke of the 1st century, had Jesus nailed to the cross. Hawke is Australia’s immigration minister, basically the modern-day Jesus killer.

Incidentally, Novak does not mean Kim Novak, the US actress who was staged to cult status by Alfred Hitchcock in the 50s, but Novak Djokovic, the anti-vaccination icon of the 2020s. Literally, the Djokovic producer group says about the resignation of tennis world number one Novak Jesus Djokovic: “Jesus was crucified, everything was done to him, and he endured it and still lives among us and now they try to crucify Novak in the same way and everything to him to do.”

Scandalous in my opinion. And that while it has not even been officially confirmed what exactly Djokovic is guilty of. Was his positive corona PCR test from December 16, 2021 fake? Or did he meet dozens of children without a mask and distance, even though he had just tested positive for Corona, took part in photo shoots and flew to Spain to train? We still don’t know for sure. Both can’t be right.

Jesus of Belgrade

So why the fuss? The few formal errors and incorrect information on the entry forms. That can happen. Why is an irreproachable sportsman like Djokovic pilloried by most of the media and the public? Just because he doesn’t care about the rules and thinks that as a millionaire and sports star, different rules apply to him?

Or maybe because he didn’t get vaccinated and was infected with Corona and completed his appointments without a mask and thus jeopardized a few children’s lives as collateral damage? Let’s not be more papal than the pope. After all, he hasn’t forgotten any sources in a book.

This new links-bubble denunciation is only getting worse. The relevant (former) editors-in-chief from the lateral thinkers media houses rightly got upset almost as intensely and passionately as recently when the political superstar Sebastian Kurz had to resign as Federal Chancellor of Austria because of a few ridiculous crimes.

In a world where fake divorce certificates are secretly exchanged or condoned in order to coax simple interns into sex meetings in hotel rooms near publishers, understanding how an unvaccinated multi-millionaire is prevented from doing his job simply because he might be under lied a little under certain circumstances, of course even smaller than the remaining edition of “Welt”.

Novaxx Djocovid in: “Match point for lateral thinkers”

I can absolutely understand that. There are simply much more important issues. To discredit reputable scientists, for example. It is probably no coincidence that even intellectual high-flyers like Novak Djokovic do not follow the forecasts and recommendations of the pseudo-experts Karl Lauterbach or Christian Drosten, who are externally controlled by Bill Gates.

If he weren’t prevented because he has to spend at least 126 days a year in Monaco for tax reasons, he would be marching side by side with the last remaining lovers of truth after Boris Reitschuster on walks towards the book burning: the completely non-Nazi lateral thinkers.

A political example is currently being made on the back of the defenseless Djokovic: Forgery of documents is stupid, this, that. The real message should be: Science has failed. Monuments should be dedicated to modern heroes like Novak Djokovic – instead of exit orders.

Only a neo-Jesus like him can still save the world and show that you really don’t have to listen to science. How right he is with this can be seen quite impressively in our beautiful country these days, whenever the armada of fact-refusalists and Telegram scholars get together to goose-step through our inner cities to demonstrate the nonsense of reason.

Australian (not so much) Open

And as if it wasn’t punishment enough that two million dollars in prize money is now slipping through his fingers and that he is not allowed to be booed by the Australian audience, after his failed entry revolution, a tsunami of global malice pours out over the sincere self-thinker Djokovic.

What does this beacon of moral integrity have to read about itself? Will he, as Jesus, walk home from Belgrade across the water? Will his main sponsor Lacoste drop him now, like Kaufland once did Michael Wendler, the Jesus of the hit industry? Djokovic didn’t deserve that. He is an irreproachable super athlete and really only very, very rarely meets war criminals, genocide killers or separatists.

But Pandora’s box is open, the mob unleashed. Suddenly YouTube videos even appear that cut Djokovic’s irascible manner on the tennis court. Apparently, even before his double fault at Australian immigration control, he had difficulties with authorities and struggled to keep his composure even in moments that weren’t going well for him.

The clips suggest that the Serbian Jesus smashes more tennis rackets a week in anger than Wolfgang Kubicki hisses in his local bar, the Kurze. And that his good upbringing and his respect for referees only remain visible as long as no narrow decisions are made against him.

The Jesus Conspiracy

So not a good week for the Serbian folk hero, who carries his country in his heart like no other. Okay, except now paying taxes, of course. When it comes to money, Djokovic is no longer Serb, but Monegasque. His main residence is not in Belgrade, Novi Sad or Niš, but in Monte Carlo.

The dreamy principality on the French Mediterranean coast, which financially already didomed his ex-coach Boris Becker, has a pretty casino, glamorous royal history and its own Formula One race – but above all a millionaire-friendly tax philosophy.

However, that is just a side note. Jesus is at home all over the world. So instead of judging him just because he may have made a few tiny mistakes in complying with the entry requirements, we should show our solidarity and throw our tennis rackets off the balcony at 8 p.m. tonight.

Maybe Novak Djokovic, if he ever finds a country where he can enter unvaccinated and take part in tennis tournaments, will share the center court for us or make wine from tennis balls. Until then, I wish you a nice week!

Teaserbild: © picture alliance / empics/John Walton

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