Washington, perhaps the most insulting city in the country, needs a new nickname for its football team. What could go wrong?
The naming opportunities are full of ridicule, partisanship and humor: Washington Gridlock, Washington Swamp Monsters, Washington Bureaucrats, Washington Subpoenas, Washington Scandals or Washington Pardons. Then there are the Capitol indictments, the deep states or the deplorable if you really want to be partisan.
On the traditional side and of course more likely, there are Red Tails, Warriors, Generals, Monuments, Senators, Cherry Blossoms, Red Wolves or even Hogs (which pays homage to an offensive line of yesteryear).
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After abandoning its long-standing name, Redskins, who was considered racist, the team is said to be focusing on a new name, but is dealing with branding issues. Since mid-June, 14 different brands have been registered by people for a possible Washington football team, including Red Tails, Red Wolves, Monuments and a version of Hogs. Most are from the same person.
This means that the owner of the football team, Daniel Snyder, will probably have to pay someone to get the name he wants, said Alexandra Watkins, whose real title is the CEO of Eat My Words, a business of Mark. Changing brands with new names often happens in the corporate world and often involves a reluctant owner, like Snyder, she said.
“Most businesses go through two or three name changes in the life of a business,” said Phil Davis, founder of Tungsten Branding in North Carolina.
In the case of the Washington football team, where racism is an issue, branding experts Davis and Watkins recommend a clean sweep, erasing the issues of racism and being more inclusive and embracing. So choosing a new name like Warriors, which may still be considered racist for some, would not be smart, said Watkins.
“Anything that has historical significance that is negative, they should just stay away,” said Watkins.
She loves Red Tails, which is a hawk, sounds like the original team nickname and pays homage to the airmen of Tuskegee, the group of African American fighter pilots who broke racial stereotypes during World War II.
Stay away from politics, advised Watkins.
“People hate politics,” said Watkins. “Sport is a great unifier. Where politics is the big divider. “
However, David Litt, a former speech writer for President Barack Obama and a former Washington editor for Funny or Die, said as a Washington resident: “I would like to bring back the senators from Washington. You know we deserve at least a few senators here in Washington DC ”
The key to the brand is to be clear, concise, compelling and consistent, said Davis. And do it in just one or two words.
One problem is the city of Washington itself.
“It’s the only city that hates equality of opportunity,” said Davis. “Both parties hate it.”
This gives the opportunity to have a little fun like Swamp Monsters or Gridlock, which Davis likes.
Normally, Watkins likes to use humorous names, hiding his favorites: the Spoon Me yogurt chain, the Denver Cupcake Church, TMI Colonics in San Francisco. But for sports teams, she said it was not good, especially for a team that had upset people in the past with their names: “They must be serious.”
Still, there is an opportunity for humor, especially at the expense of a football team that hasn’t won a play-off since 2005 and has played 132-187 this century.
“‘Not an embarrassment’ would be an exciting thing to call the Washington team,” said the comedian and the Washingtonian Litt. He also praised this tweet from “The Daily Show” writer Jason Gilbert: “They should rename it Washington Liberals Watching the Supreme Court because they usually have to settle for 3 wins a season.”
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Eric Dezenhall, who has been in Washington since he worked for the Reagan White House and now runs a crisis communications company, has a few suggestions for him.
“If your goal is to appease the cultural left, there is the Washington Inclusive,” Dezenhall wrote in an email. “For a Trumpian theme, the Washington Tweets, Washington Covfefes or Washington Combovers could work.
“If we want something that everyone has in common, why not Washington smartphones, after all, nobody is watching the action on the ground anymore?”
