Norwegian biathlete Johan-Olav Botn has spoken for the first time about the death of his teammate Sivert Guttorm Bakken. The 26-year-old found his friend dead in his hotel room in Lavazè, Italy, on December 23rd.
“Sivert and I wanted to go skiing at 9 a.m. that morning. I wanted to go by him briefly to get the car keys and take a few skis and poles from the car. Then I found him lifeless in his room,” said Botn in an interview with the Norwegian broadcaster TV2.
“It’s a state of shock in which you don’t feel anything”
It was “an absolute state of shock and pure panic” when he realized that his long-time companion was no longer alive. “I saw that his face was completely lifeless and white as a sheet. I immediately understood that he was dead. It was a state of shock in which you don’t feel anything, you just try to help,” the overall World Cup leader continued.
He then tried to call the police and ambulance. “But I couldn’t get through. So I ran and got help. It was a stressful few minutes trying to help and get help myself,” Botn said of the minutes after the discovery. It was only when the ambulance arrived that he realized what had happened. The Italian police later questioned him.
“You feel so helpless. There’s nothing you can do to make it better,” Botn continued. He then drove to the ski slopes to his girlfriend Karoline Simpson-Larsen, a Norwegian cross-country skier, to tell her the shocking news.
The entire Norwegian team came together back at the hotel. “I’m very glad that I wasn’t alone in Italy and had to go through all of this without other people around me.” Botn praises Norway’s biathlon association for its handling of the tragedy. National coach Patrick Oberegger also immediately offered his help.
Christmas was very difficult for Botn
Christmas was very difficult and “you went through a lot of emotions. It still goes up and down, but every day it gets better,” says three-time season winner Botn. He has been in contact with Bakken’s parents and wants to meet with them in the next few weeks: “My first thoughts were with them. You almost feel responsible when you are the first to see him. I think a lot about his family.”
“I have to live with these images for the rest of my life”
Botn has sought the help of a psychologist. “I have some images in my head that I’ve realized I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. I think it’s wise to find a way to live with those images,” he said.
Botn called for speculation to be avoided until the investigation was completed. He also emphasized that Bakken, with whom he had been dating since he was a junior, had done “nothing illegal.” “Altitude chambers and tents have been permitted for many years and are used by many athletes. We adhere to all rules of the anti-doping agencies and Norwegian law,” Botn said. He himself never used a mask or an altitude tent.
After the shocking experience, he questioned a lot of things. “Everything seems very pointless when something like this happens,” Botn said. But he knows how important biathlon was for Bakken, who had only fought his way back into the World Cup after a two-year break.
Botn wants to continue fighting for him. “If I had lost motivation, I think I would have disappointed Sivert. We worked towards this together. I know exactly what Sivert would expect from me: that I train and become as good as possible. The goal is clearer than ever,” said Botn, who is helped by the return to everyday training and his routines.
It is uncertain whether Botn will start at the World Cup in Oberhof next week, especially since he was recently ill. The funeral is also a priority for him. “Personally, I feel a great need to say goodbye to Sivert one last time. For me, the funeral takes priority over the World Cup,” he said.
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