We didn’t even have time to finish the accounts – So, let’s see, if we mark more than two goals than those who make Norway in the next games, we could get to the direct clash with only two goals to recover … – that Erling Haaland and company took our sheets of square paper, crumpled them, they put them in their mouths like a supplì, they chewed them and if they swallowed them. Take them the accounts now!
Norway beat Moldova 11-1 yesterday. Haaland scored five goals and made two assists – currently sails at 48 goals in 45 games with the national team (and the 9 goals scored at Honduras with the Under 20 are not counted). Erling Haaland, every now and then it is good for remembering it, he has been completing for two months 25 years.
Four goals scored them Thelo Aasgaard, a 23 -year -old midfielder of Glasgow Rangers, born in Liverpool as a cellist father and mother therapist’s mother. Aasgaard only played the last half hour and Haaland even let him pull a penalty.
At 75 ‘the score was already 7-1 and all Norway pressed to the edge of the Moldovan area. Aasgard has made a filter heel blow in the area for Odegaard, who controls and returns the ball. Aasgard kicks on the goal but hits a defender. The ball arrives in Berg, just over sixteen meters, which enlarges for Ryerson on the right. Ryerson puts a deep ball for Oscar Bobb – also entered the second half, just to underline the depth of the Norwegian talent – which crosses the center.
On Bobb’s cross, Haaland literally jumps on the head of a Moldovan defender to crush from the height of the small area, if he wanted, if he had extended his legs, he could have climbed his shoulders like a six -year -old boy. In any case, Haaland crushes and Avram, Moldovan goalkeeper, para with punches. The rebound, however, arrives in Aasgaard who slams the ball on the net by his right neck.
Haaland, as if he had nothing better to do, without even celebrating the goal with his companions, immediately goes to take the ball on the net and the hurry door in midfield. Does it seem normal to you?
No, all this is not normal. It looks like a joke addressed to us, poor Italians. A punishment for having hoped that it was still possible to arrive in the first place of the group beating Norway in the return match – good luck, however – and going up the distance in the goal difference.
Between one goal and the other of Norway, no more than eight minutes have never passed. Except between the second, fifteen minutes, and between the seventh and eighth, in the midst of which there was also the own goal of Ostigard (a retropable inaccurate with the goalkeeper out of the posts). Perhaps this is why Haaland started recovering the ball on the net after the eighth goal, the Moldovan goal had annoyed him and is never that the inertia of the game was changing.
This hungry Haaland ferocity has inhuman traits, sometimes. His smile – all the more if there is a black crust below that has caused herself, banging against the tailgate of a bus – has something left. It seems that his hunger is not only metaphorical, he looks like a cannibal ready to eat you, and he eats you because you are nice to him, because he likes you and wants to hear what I flavor you.
The first goal, after five minutes, builds him Odegaard who, with the Moldova closed with two 4+5 lines at the limit of his area, Scugchia for Haaland on the left side of the area: Felix Myhre’s plate and tap-in. If you have never heard him appoint – or maybe if you study medicine, confuse him with the homonymous Sindrome di Myhre – Don’t worry, he has never played outside Norway, for a couple of years he has been playing in the Brann, and has only five calls in the national team.
The second, after ten minutes, does the Moldova alone if he tries to build inside his penalty area. Intercepted ball that happens from the parts of Haaland who crosses Rasoterra on the second post. Note how on the 2-0 he does not go to take the ball on the net. The appetite comes by eating, as they say.
This goal of goals for a center forward has become paradoxical in contemporary speech. Not that it is less important than before, but it seems not enough to be fully respected by the public. Haaland represents this absurdity better than anyone else. He does not know how to do, or does not do very well, many things, but he knows how to do the most important thing of all. At a certain point he will have scored so many goals that we will simply stop talking about it.
I did a “Haaland last man” search and the latest articles that came out are these. Judging by the public debate – because the titles are certainly not the result of our opinions – Would you say that it is the best center forward of these years and potentially one of the best ever?
The third goal is the same as the first, cross -wrapped shooter of Haaland’s accident, only that Odegaard gives him the ball with a filter after Moldova lost the ball in the Norwegian half of the field.
The fourth is interesting. The Moldova presses Norway on the goalkeeper’s remittance – Ahahahah – Odegaard cuts the field with a thirty -meter longitudinal cutting shot and Haaland tries to skip the goalkeeper but cannot do it. As mentioned, many things haaland simply doesn’t know how to do them. But he knows how to make the goals so well that, in fact, recovers the ball after the slap of Avram and puts the ball on the net with a lob that climbs the goalkeeper and the defender who run on the door line.
Ridiculous. If Manchester City bought Odegaard, perhaps Haaland would really overcome the records of Pelé, Cristiano Ronaldo, Messi, etc. etc.
The fifth marks him Odeegard before the end of the first half, thanks to a lucky rebound that makes him the ball on the accident in the area. The sixth marks it again Haaland, head, five minutes from the beginning of the second, after a nice conduction of nusa and a soft cross as a 100% cachemi -cachemire by Møller Wolfe.
The seventh is Aasgaard’s first goal. Another series of lucky rebounds, which arose from a shot from outside Odegaard, who end up right on the race of the Norwegian player a few meters from the door. The own goal of Ostigard and we have already described the eighth, the ninth is the penalty with which Aasgard marks his personal hat -trick. Once again, on 9-1, Erling Haaland rushes to take the ball on the net and bring it back in the middle of the field.
Ah, here. I think Haaland wanted to score five goals. In fact, when he puts Ryerson’s low cross into the low cross, with an angled left dish, he shakes the hand and does not seem to be in a hurry to resume the game.
Okay, Bravo Haaland, you scored five goals in Moldova, congratulations. Needless to say, Haaland’s hand is facing south in the direction of Italy.
The eleventh goal, the Aasgaard quarter, in the first minute of recovery (then you will tell me why give recovery with a team that is winning 10-1) suggests that perhaps there was an spell in progress last night. Haaland devours the marker on an aerial duel – that, poor thing, in an attempt to contrast it ends up on the ground, while Haaland seems to fly on the cloud of Goku to crush the ball towards Aasgaard.
Aasgaard kicks from a couple of meters away, rightly, with the ball coming from the left. But it kicks strangely with a trajectory to go out, as if he had taken it out of the outdoor neck. The ball slightly does not come out beyond the second post, but obviously enters, slams on the pole and enters.
At that point nobody exults anymore. Not even Aasgaard, who indeed shakes his head as the joke were doing it to him.
And so, now, Gattuso’s Italy must make 13 goals in Moldova, to stay in line with the calculations made just twenty -four hours ago. Or he must wait for a “false step”, as the newspapers are writing, of Norway in the next games. And then, clear, he must win on the return.
Or we should prepare ourselves mentally for the playoffs. Yes. Maybe it’s better.
