Former Belgium international Toby Alderweireld has opened up about his long struggle with homesickness and the psychological toll of his professional football career, revealing the exact moment he realized he needed professional help.
In a candid interview tied to the VRT Canvas program Therapie, the former Red Devils defender discussed how years of living abroad across Amsterdam, Madrid, London, and Doha culminated in an emotional breaking point around 2016 and 2017. Alderweireld detailed how relentless travel, matches, and training camps clashed with his family life, forcing him to seek support from a psychologist to manage the growing strain.
From Ajax Youth Academy to Global Career Milestones
Homesickness served as a recurring thread throughout Alderweireld’s career, beginning at age 15 when he left home to join the youth academy at Ajax in the Netherlands. While he eventually grew accustomed to relocating across Europe and the Middle East, the nature of that absence shifted fundamentally when he became a father during his tenure with Tottenham Hotspur in London.
Alderweireld was able to attend the birth of his first child because his wife’s labor was induced, but the demands of elite football immediately pulled him away. “I could fortunately be at the birth because my wife was induced. But the day after I had to go straight back to work. Back abroad,” Alderweireld recounted. Because passport logistics delayed his wife and newborn from traveling to England for nearly two weeks, the defender experienced a painful stretch of early fatherhood separated from his family.
“You can imagine that you become a dad for the first time and then don’t see your child for 10 to 14 days. That hurts enormously,” Alderweireld said. The subsequent cycle of travel, fixtures, and training camps made him question the personal cost of his profession. “I started to wonder: what am I doing it all for? You don’t get that time back. There were a lot of moments when I had to travel and couldn’t be there for my child.”
Stepping Into Therapy and Tackling Football’s Macho Culture
By 2016 and 2017, the emotional weight reached a threshold where Alderweireld recognized he could no longer cope alone. “I realized: I really need help,” he said, explaining his decision to consult a psychologist to help guide him through the pressure. Unlike many athletes of past generations who avoided psychological support, Alderweireld viewed the step as a natural extension of dealing with the emotional friction of living far from home since his teenage years.
By participating in the VRT Canvas program Therapie—which features real conversations between psychotherapists and clients alongside public figures discussing their own mental health journeys—Alderweireld aims to dismantle lingering stigmas in professional sports. He emphasized that the football industry remains bound by a rigid “macho culture” that discourages players from discussing vulnerability.
“We still have a macho culture. That is just how it is. But the more people dare to speak about it, the more discussable it becomes,” Alderweireld said. He also noted that players do not need to share their struggles publicly on television, pointing out that entire mental health journeys can be pursued in total anonymity.
Through his testimony, the defender hopes to reach athletes and fans experiencing similar isolation. “People need to know they are not alone. And that what they feel is not necessarily weird,” he concluded.
Worth a look
