Julian Nagelsmann: What bothers the Germans about the new national coach

Since Julian Nagelsmann was announced as national coach, a puzzling phenomenon has been observed: the experts think the solution is perfect – but in various surveys, an average of 55 percent of Germans give the impression that they understand more about football than, for example, Jürgen Klopp. What does he keep telling us?

Recently everyone thought that Klopp, as the guild’s guru, had a lot of knowledge of what he was doing. But now he has disqualified himself from 55 percent as a serious conversation partner because he is enthusiastic about national coach Nagelsmann. “Great solution, great coach,” he says, justifying his assessment as follows: “You have to convince a football team and be able to convey an idea to the players. Nagelsmann can do it.” DFB expert Rudi Völler (“A stroke of luck”) also sees it that way. Or the Bayern expert Thomas Tuchel (“An outstanding coach”). And Xabi Alonso in Leverkusen. And Marco Rose in Leipzig. “Nagelsmann’s quality,” he says, “is undisputed.” Undisputed?

45 million self-proclaimed national coaches shake their heads in disbelief: Doesn’t Rose read surveys? They represent an overwhelming majority of 55 percent and ask themselves why Klopp, Tuchel or Alonso voluntarily embarrass themselves to the bone by claiming that Nagelsmann is the right one. We won’t gain anything with this at the European Championships next year, the complainers know, they can already feel it in their urine, for some the new guy is too green behind the ears, for others he’s an arrogant slob, and the rest agree the special reporter from “t-online”, who recently hit Nagelsmann with the bar line: “No one will burn for him.”

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Incompetent Nagelsmann? In any case, there are many who would have rather taken Jupp Derwall out of the grave, dusted him off and hoped that the old federal Jupp would say: “I’ll do it again, but only until the European Championships.” Now Nagelsmann is doing it, and 55 percent are wondering which black market Klopp, Tuchel and the few other Nagelsmann admirers bought their coaching licenses.

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Who is right?

Nagelsmann is Julian, not Rudi

Before we get to the feelings, let’s start with the facts. They speak for Nagelsmann. Even at 28, he was anything but too young to turn things around at Hoffenheim overnight and keep this seemingly hopelessly lost club in the Bundesliga. He then coached Leipzig to the semi-finals of the Champions League, whereupon FC Bayern put the money gun on his chest and forced him to Munich.

On the way to winning the Champions League, Bayern fired him out of nowhere. Even the above-mentioned Nagelsmannfighter from “t-online” thinks he “failed badly”. He forgets that in the end almost every dream coach at Bayern fails miserably, either as a nail in the coffin, a flying Dutchman or as an empty bottle. Trapattoni, van Gaal, Magath, Klinsmann, Rehhagel, it even happened to the young Heynckes, or Ancelotti. Very, very early on, Dettmar Cramer was hailed as the rebirth of Napoleon and as a great philosopher, the Bavarians hung on his every word, gripped by his bon mots and Bible quotations – but in the end, libero Beckenbauer revealed Cramer’s team meetings as an eyewitness: “It took less than ten minutes, then the oxygen was used up. Sepp Maier was the first to fall asleep, others followed.” Things didn’t go any worse for Julian Nagelsmann. In any case, experts consider it to be a great solution – and this is where psychoanalysts urgently need to get to work to clarify: What bothers 55 percent of Nagelsmann’s nose?

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In the desperate search for an answer, one comes across an old popular survey by the Forsa Institute: The German as such does not value professional qualifications as the most important trait; on the contrary, success is rated lower at six percent – which is much more What counts is charisma in the form of a winning smile (21 percent), and close behind are modesty and a happy family life at 17 percent each.

Nagelsmann can give himself the ball right there. He left his wife and two children and, yuck, defected to a former BILD reporter. And in general, he cuts a figure away from the training ground that doesn’t make him suitable for the majority. Apparently he occasionally even drives a hot motorcycle and prefers all kinds of speedsters. He also comes across as a bit daring in terms of fashion, and as part of a cosmetic procedure, it was reported that he also had his drooping eyelids done. He was already beautiful enough beforehand. And rich. And successful. And he’s smart too, he graduated with 1.6. But that doesn’t help in surveys either. And we almost forgot that Nagelsmann also committed the three deadly sins: If someone trains the money bags in Hoffenheim, Leipzig and FC Bayern one after the other, the fun stops for the rest of the republic.

In short: Nagelsmann is no Rudi.

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Rudi Völler is different. When he makes an angry speech against Weizenbier-Waldi or Netzer, that makes him human. But if Nagelsmann holds one against the referee, he’s down. At least 55 percent of Germans would love to drink a beer with Völler, and one immediately thinks of Orson Welles, the unforgettable wise man from Hollywood, who said: “If popularity mattered, Donald Duck and the Muppets would long ago be sitting in the Senate .” And Rudi Völler would be Chancellor.

Nagelsmann is having a harder time. The majority support him, especially when it also means that he earns 400,000 euros a month as national coach. That’s too much for the average German’s sense of envy, and many reflexively ask themselves when he’ll start eating luxury steaks breaded with gold dust like Frank Ribery used to, and whether he’ll finally give his girlfriend bigger breasts for Christmas. That’s how it is with polls. Sympathy is the measure of all things.

But, and this brings us to the conciliatory end: Julian Nagelsmann can change all of this himself. He just has to win from now on. Suddenly, all fan researchers completely agree, the skeptical 55 percent would withdraw from all surveys, rush into the stadiums at the European Championships and hold up the poster: “Julian, will you give me your jersey?” If Nagelsmann would give it to them too personally flocked, everything is good.


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