Do you know someone who has never had to face a problem? Of course not! Problems are part of life. They are inseparably intertwined between facts and events that we are chaining throughout our existence. This is so since the world is world.
But what do I propose to you today?
That you analyze when something that has happened to you, that for you has been, as they say, a stick. It does not matter if it is recent or if it is several years old, because what interests me about you today, is that you think about how you reacted, what did you do and if you got any learning from it. This is the question that I am “forcing” you to do a reflection exercise. why has it happened to you one thing (or more) and how have you reacted to them?
It may be that a new fall, in case you have had a recent one, affects you in such a way that takes away your strengthso the key is how you do so that this new recidivism does not deflate you and leave you with no will to bend the circumstances you are facing.
I have seen many people who, at the first change, produce unintentionally that deflating that I am referring to. Like they didn’t want to get up out of bed after a huge hangover from the night before.
To such an extent (these circumstances) can influence your ability to react, that you can surrender without further ado, without a fight, letting things be fixed with the passage of time, because of the fact that time heals everything (things are forgotten or you lose that perspective of the moment), which takes weight away from the problem, but is actually still there. Is a deception you have done to yourself.
In many situations that people face that are especially tough, they actually they have justification and they are like that because they must have lived a traumatic event. But human beings have a very strong capacity for adaptation that allows us to overcome adversity and, in many cases, emerge stronger from it. Observe what I tell you! ADAPTABILITY…and this despite enduring the blow.
The good thing is that it is quite frequent that in these situations that are adverse to us, people find a way out (the character comes out that even they themselves did not know) to say enough is enough and turn that bad moment around. In other words, they are also invaded by a fortress that it was not part of his habitual behavior and their reactions. Surprising as it may seem, many of these people discover new skills that they were completely unaware that they possessed or could develop.
The adversity hypothesis
Those who postulate what is called “adversity hypothesis” They are the ones who defend that people would need in their life adversities, problems and even really traumatic events, in order to reach the maximum levels of strength and personal development. In other words, you are not an upright man or woman, if you have not faced at some point in your life to an important problem. I do not share this position, but I do accept that the problems we face they forge our character.
Because it is precisely in extreme moments that people face various types of problems, When are those abilities born? that until that moment they were asleep. In other words, according to the defenders of that position, no person knows what is able to bear until they are exposed to it, until they experience a certain situation, because it is probable that, having not experienced something similar, never had a chance to find out within herself these hidden strengths.
The way you react is more important to you than the problem you are facing.
I am not saying with this that I am detracting from the problem you have had or are having. Not at all! But you must admit that when a problem really shakes us and shakes us, such is its impact that what should really concern us is not so much the nature of it. like the way we react before him. This does not mean that we ignore the problem and its severity or what it means to us. What I’m telling you is that when you come up against a hard obstacle that made you stop like you hit a wallsuch an apparent impossibility of overcoming it it makes you grow psychologicallyto reach a mental and emotional strength that you also did not know about yourself.
How can you do to get up after having had more than one fall (failures)?
We live exposed to danger every day, even though we are hardly aware of themBecause otherwise life would be very tormenting. Just go down the street or drive a car. we are always with a potential risk to have an accident. But that’s not why we’re going to be thinking about it all day. We just go out, be it to work, to the movies or mountaineering. Things can happen. In fact, they do happen, and then we’ll see how we respond to anything that poses a threat.
But I am not referring today to these issues that fall more into the law of probability of their occurrence and very especially in the prudent way in which we must have to conduct ourselves in life.
I am referring to the other type of dangers to which we are subjected on a daily basis, for example, a problem with a neighbor due to a damage in the community in which you live; when not a problem at work due to decisions that were made in your department that affect you; a health problem of one of yours that you have to attend to and take time (of course) from your workday and a long etcetera.
The important thing once again is how we fit the new situation, including that blow that we have received (metaphorically speaking) due to the bad news that we must attend to and to which we must react. But how do we react? Did we get overwhelmed by the entry problem? Do we just give ourselves up? Well no! We must do it (our reaction) with a vision that fits the new reality and try to adjust it as much as possible to the solution, even if it is at least momentary. Let’s see in your case: surely with this attitude of rapid response that you can give, you will already be preparing yourself for later with a greater effort, also having new data and information (depending on the degree of complexity of the problem).), you can convert such output that you have found momentary into something that is permanent. You knew your answer wasn’t finalbut you still tried. You have gained time, you have prepared yourself mentally. You have not let your spirits drop because of your fall.
Judo as a metaphor
Those of us who have practiced judo, in my case when I started in this discipline when I was 12 years old, the first thing they teach you is knowing how to fall. And then, the judo teacher in the first lessons, when you are a child category with a white belt in the kimono, explains to you how you should land on the left side and then on the right, how you should hit with the forearm and with the leg of the same side so as not to hurt you and a long series of movements that are essential for you to the inertia of the body weight does not hurt you in the fall.
It is interesting to apply this type of learning in our lives: knowing how to take care of ourselves, knowing how to fall and avoid an unforeseen real fall due to a trip, how to support hands and arms to avoid further damage. But we are not talking about falling on the sidewalk, or when we go down the stairs of the building where we live, but in the fall caused by the problem that pushes us with the same or more force than that inertia with which your body falls, when you have lost your balance due to taking a chair you had not seen ahead of you.
But in the judo metaphor, in our daily lives, while you haven’t had the experienced black belt teacher credit you with your competitive prowess, you are also learning to fall (although you are unaware of it), with the difference that in judo judo once the exercise is done every time you drop to the ground you must get up without more. On the other hand, in your life, it is not comparable, there is no symmetry, because theoretically and practically in judo it is like that, because you are trained and prepared for it.
In your daily life, you are not always prepared for the impact of the problem or misfortune that comes your way. You fall without anticipating that you were going to fall, so the first thing you should notice now that you are concentrating on reading these instructions is how you should be alert to new possible falls, that you are sure to have, because as we have said, life is ultimately a matter of probabilities. That you have never had a problem at work until now, does not mean that you will never have it. And what I urge you today is to get up right now. That it doesn’t matter the nature of the problem or how strong the fall was for you. You must get up! It is that you have the right to a new opportunity!
If the fall is taken as an experience from which one learns, problems become opportunities. And it is this point I recommend that you read my article “THE LIGHTHOUSE OF ALEXANDRIA: A problem is not a problem… it is an opportunity!”.
In the same way that to get up from the ground when you have fallen due to a slip, you support yourself with a certain insecurity and you want to see that your feet are well placed on the groundthat you feel that you are stomping because you do not want to experience the same sensation again, you want that once you have experienced the bad news of what you are facing -we return to the matter of work-, you also need to know that you are stepping on a solid foundation and that you are going to look for a solution, a way out of the problem.
Also, in the same way that when you have fallen to the ground, there may be someone else’s hand nearby that will help you get up, faced with the problem in which you find yourself submerged, it is possible (if you do not have to look for it) that there is a hand close to you that help selflessly. That you feel that he cares about you and really wants to help you. It is important that you examine all the support points to which you can hold on and hold on to get up safely and continue walking (continue with strength and determination to face the problem).
Said a poet whose authorship is hidden under the pseudonym “guardian” entitled “Fall down but get up”:
When you feel with your self-esteem on the ground
pick it up at that precise moment
remember that a dream is a wish
and never let the wind bring you down
If you know well what it is to suffer
don’t let it happen to you again
And even if you think that it is preferable to die
never give your arm to twist
Undoubtedly, poetry has the gift of describing things in life like no other way can be done. Because poetry is PASSION.
I hope that put passion also to get up when you fall, because it’s inevitable that it happens to all of us. What we can avoid is to lose that inner flame that encourages us to get out of the bad moment. That is and will continue to be your challenge!