“I don’t hang up the cleats, they do it for me. » It is with these words written on Instagram that CE Europa player (promoted to Spanish women’s D2) Valentina Berr announced that she would stop playing football on July 28. His goal was not to pay tribute to Booba, the rest of his message evoking the weight of “silently suffer hatred and structural violence against trans women” . At 29, including 19 years chasing a ball, the striker denounced the insults and discrimination she had to face. With the hope of moving things forward a little.
For me, it’s a way to stay connected to my childhood. From the age of 10, I loved playing football. I was the typical little girl football fan who walked the streets of my city all day with the ball at my feet. To be able to make this beautiful passion such a central aspect of my life was special to me. I think the childhoods of transgender women are rarely talked about in a positive way. And for me, playing football was, in many ways, about being a normal little girl again.
Your team has been promoted to the Women’s Second Division. Did you want to pursue a career in football?
I would have liked to arrive in the elite, of course. But there’s a lot of talent in those higher categories, including the one I played in. Between that and my early retirement, I only got halfway there.
“The atmosphere that exists in the men’s football teams was not at all pleasant for me. »
Among young people, boys and girls first play together before the separation of the two sexes. How did this change happen?
For me, this change meant being more comfortable. The atmosphere that exists in the men’s football teams, beyond the purely footballing aspect, was not at all pleasant for me. The hegemonic masculinity and compulsory heterosexuality that exists in men’s football makes many of us uncomfortable, regardless of gender or status.
Why does having to pass hormonal checks affect you psychologically?
Because first of all, they are only performed on trans women or women whose appearance does not meet the norm (for example, a woman who has more mustache, a lot of body hair, a large musculature…). This is a discriminatory measure, because testosterone is variable in all women and even more so in sportswomen, whether they are trans or not. Many female colleagues who are not transgender cross these established boundaries, but they probably won’t be vetted for it and they shouldn’t be. There’s also the pressure that if I go over the limit for whatever reason, I’ll be banned for a year. And they could have done that to me at any time! The anxiety that comes from being the only one being watched so much, as if you were a danger, is enormous.
Why have you decided to come forward now?
Because even if it was very painful to live, it is also a pride to take the blows so that future generations can live it with less pain, fewer obstacles and less violence. I would like everyone to be able to experience football for what it is: football.
“I haven’t talked about it with almost anyone. I did not want those around me to be exposed to this violence. »
Have you spoken about the transphobic insults and comments you have received with people around you? And if not, why did you keep it for yourself?
I haven’t talked about it with almost anyone. I did not want those around me to be exposed to this violence. I didn’t want my loved ones to suffer. I think I was wrong, because it’s very important to have a real support network, friends, family, partners, whatever, who are by your side and who make you feel that you are not not alone.
How were your words received?
A lot of people supported me! Especially when I denounced the violence I received. I have always kept silent for fear that no one will understand my reality. But when I retired and decided to speak, all my teammates, rivals, referees, coaches, clubs and supporters gave me their support with many messages of affection and anger, because it will really infuriates that reality is like this. But if I received a lot of support, I also had a lot of insults on social networks, strangely…
Valentina retires for mental health after years suffering from transphobia “You have accompanied me in very hard years. I will be escaped for life!” Always with you, Valentina! All ‘Diem NO’! + info: https://t.co/O3AODDQ95m#soccercat #futfemcat # ViladeGràcia #Sacred Family pic.twitter.com/dW9UINjoop
– Europa Sports Club (@CEEuropa) June 28, 2022
Are you surprised that you are asked so many questions?
No, I have been reporting on the realities of the LGBTQI+ community for many years and there is a profound lack of knowledge about us. However, it is important to point out that most spaces are not made to ask certain questions about our state. You can’t ask a transgender girl if she’s had genital surgery when you’ve had coffee with her and you’ve known her for five minutes, even if you’re very curious about it. However, I believe that these questions must be answered, which is why, through my project The answer to everything, I answer all the questions that people ask about us, so that the general population better understands our daily lives.
“We are not intruders, we are women. »
What would you say to a Spanish trans girl who wants to join a football club?
I just quit sport, so as they say in Spain, « advice I sell that I don’t have » (“These are tips that I give, but that I don’t apply for myself”). But in any case, I would tell them that nobody should have them, that sport also belongs to the dissidents: women’s football is also built by us, the deviants, the dykes, the tomboys, the trans people. We are not intruders, we are women. Oh, and most importantly: find people you can trust and let take care of you. We cannot do it alone and we are not.
What do you think can be done to change attitudes inside and outside football?
It takes a lot of pedagogy and education, both for young people and for older generations. We also need to stop spreading hate speech against people who go against the norm, as this only amplifies its reach and contributes to more people hating us without question. And finally, we must organize and unite. Everyone must be united in the face of these struggles, it can only be the struggle of a few.
Interview by Loïc Bessière
Photos: Paula Lopez (@plopez.studio) and Marc Domingo (@md_phootos)
