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Sergiy returned to Ukraine to fight for his country. His children still don’t know

(CNN)– Ukrainian tennis star Sergiy Stakhovsky was vacationing with his family in Dubai when Russian forces invaded his home country.

He made the difficult decision to leave his wife and three young children at home in Hungary and return to his homeland to join the fight. He is now a member of the Army reservists who help defend the Ukrainian capital, Kyiv.

As a Russian military convoy approaches the city and fear hangs in the air, Stakhovsky, 36, says he is prepared to do whatever it takes. He told CNN’s Brianna Keilar on Thursday that his goal is to help save Ukraine for its citizens and their children.

“I was born here, my grandparents are buried here and I would like to have a story to tell my children,” he said. “No one here wants Russia to free them, they have freedom and democracy… and Russia wants to bring despair and poverty.”

Stakhovsky had retired from professional tennis just weeks earlier at the Australian Open, ending an 18-year career. He is now crouching with his fellow civilian soldiers in Kyiv and struggling with his decision.

You feel guilty for leaving your family

Stakhovsky, who became the 31st-ranked player in the world, once beat Roger Federer in a big upset at Wimbledon in 2013.

In January, he was playing his last professional match at the Australian Open. Now his retirement days involve fear and uncertainty, hearing air-raid sirens and explosions at all hours.

Stakhovsky said he believes people like him, untrained in warfare but fiercely patriotic, make up a large part of the fighters defending Ukraine.

But he said leaving his wife and children to put himself in harm’s way was not an easy decision.

Sergiy Stakhovsky judging against Frenchmen Gilles Simon and Roland Garros of 2019 (Photo by Kenzo TRIBOUILLARD / AFP) (Photo by KENZO TRIBOUILLARD / AFP via Getty Images)

“It is impossible to make that decision without hesitation. I have a wife and three children,” he said. “If I stayed home, I would feel guilty that I didn’t come back (to Ukraine), and now that I’m here, I feel guilty that I left them at home.” His wife is also struggling with his decision, he said.

“Of course she was angry,” he said. “She understood (what was) the reason for me, but for her it was a betrayal. And I totally understand why she feels that way.”

He said they haven’t told his children, all under the age of 7, who probably think he’s at a tennis tournament.

“My wife didn’t tell them and I didn’t tell them … where I’m going,” he said. “I guess they’ll find out soon enough.”

He is one of several famous Ukrainian athletes who joined the fight against Russia

The Ukrainian government has asked men between the ages of 18 and 60 to fight against the Russian invasion.

Other sports stars, including Yuriy Vernydub, the manager of FC Sheriff Tiraspol in a Moldovan football league, returned to Ukraine and took up arms. So have champion boxers Oleksandr Usyk and Vasiliy Lomachenko.

Usyk, ready to die for Ukraine. CNN exclusive interview 2:08

“If they want to take my life or the lives of those close to me, I will have to do it,” Usyk told CNN from a basement in Kyiv. “But I don’t want that. I don’t want to shoot, I don’t want to kill anyone, but if they’re going to kill me, I won’t have a choice.”

Stakhovsky faces similar fears and prays that he will make it out alive and return to his family. Civilian fighters like him in Ukraine have received “a basic lesson in how to shoot,” he told CNN. “I think people like me will be the last resort.”

And while he hopes he doesn’t have to shoot anyone, he said he will if necessary.

“I’m not sure there is a single person who is ready to tell you now if they are ready to sacrifice their lives. I want to see my children… I want to see my wife, that is my goal,” he said. “If a missile enters the house, is that sacrificing your life? No. It’s just getting killed.”

He hopes that when his children learn the truth about his whereabouts, they will understand why he chose to fight for his homeland.

“Because a country that I love (…) I would like it to still be on the map, to develop, to be better, to become more European and eventually my children can see the transformation of my country.”

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