Nick kyrgios he’s done a lot of stupid things over the years. Many of them have been recognized by him. Others are part of its wide arsenal of bravado that will remain for posterity, the result of a volcanic character that in many provokes a love affairor constant. In recent weeks, however, the Canberra tennis player is showing his most human, the B-side that the media doesn’t see. A portrait of his own insecurities and fears that now comes to light and shows what is behind a sportsman with so many faces.
The Australian player gave an interview for The Age in which he made a very powerful confession: was very close to retiring. Luckily, time at home during the pandemic helped heal her mind and recharge her batteries. No one can explain it better than him. “I’ve been seeing a psychologist before the ATP Cup and I thought maybe it was time to take a year off. Maybe I should work on myself, achieve happiness elsewhere, do other things.
I couldn’t even see a tennis court. He had no feeling of joy, he did not want to be there. He had no motivation, nor did he feel that he could grow personally. I just followed my patterns, out of inertia. It didn’t make me happy, in fact, it drained my energy. Tennis started to have a negative impact on my life. I was thinking, ‘Maybe this doesn’t mean I have to quit altogether, but I still need to take a break, take a step back to see other things and catch up on other issues.
The Australian mentions the help of a psychologist and makes a surprising revelation about this figure: he could not help himself. “I regret having seen psychologists. I feel like everything these people told me was wrong. I got out of that situation myself, if I’m honest. I escaped from what was happening. Psychologists put a lot of things in my head that weren’t … I just regret it. “
The one who ended up being a crucial figure was his good friend Jack Sock. And is that Nick did not need much: only that figure to help him in the middle of a tournament on the other side of the world. Kyrgios told Jack that maybe it was time to quit shortly before the Indian Wells tournament started. And then came the pandemic.
“I told him that maybe it was a good time. It is clear that the circumstances were unfortunate, but perhaps it was a good time to go home, go back to doing simple things. It was very good for him, for example. I know there are many tennis players who suffer because they are caught in a world of expectations and pressure. You don’t live a normal life, that was a complete reset. All this time at home has been great. I have been able to disconnect and venture into some of my passions, being at home and contributing to my community. this is that I need“.
One of the aspects that has marked the life of Kyrgios himself on the circuit was the death of his grandmother, a figure very close to him. Nick remembers her with a tattoo on her skin, but regrets not being able to be with her in her last days. “The last three years of her life, in which she suffered a lot, I could hardly see her. It was not easy. The news began to reach me and I regretted all the travel, all the time away from home. Really? Was what he was doing really that important? He could never come home. He could not have that luxury that many other tennis players do. If they lose a match, they can catch a train or fly home if they are in Europe. I could not”.
Time passed and Kyrgios admits to taking a different approach to his sports career. Tennis is no longer so important. And he has no regrets about it. “As I’ve grown and gained in experience, tennis has become less of a weight. I don’t care too much if I lose a match, now it’s a feeling that dissipates quickly. I know what it really means a lot to me: tennis is just my job. It gives me a chance to do other things that I like, that’s how I see it. “
Nick always claimed that he would retire soon. He turns 27 next year, but with the pandemic in between and after having freed himself from the mental chains that oppressed him, he now has a lot of career involved. “At the beginning of my career, when I was 16 years old, I used to say that if I went far I would not play beyond 27 or 28 years old. At that time I took everything for granted: recoveries, gym sessions. I always joked about it, but it’s not a joke anymore because my body suffers too.
Still, I feel like I still have gas left in the tank. If he wanted to, he could play beyond that age. We’ll see, it’s anyone’s guess. Something may happen that makes me not want to play tennis anymore. Right now I can’t put any numbers on a withdrawal. “
A career made your way
And when that time comes, will Nick Kyrgios look back and regret something? “People always tell me that I will regret certain things, but I love the way my career has developed. I’ve done it all my way. I have proved everyone who thought I couldn’t do it wrong. I feel that I have given hope to many people, that I have shown them that there is another way of doing things. I feel like I have nothing else to prove. I’ve beaten almost every player on the circuit, and I’ve done it my way. It’s that simple. “
Nick Kyrgios, ladies and gentlemen.
.
