Let me start by giving you some valuable survival advice. If you ever go camping with a group of friends and come across a hungry bear, put on your tennis shoes and run. You don’t have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than one of your, until then, friends.
If the camp was in East of the NFC, the bear would eat them all. And then he would spit them out. And then he would throw up. And then he would die of food poisoning. Yes, the division is that bad.
Washington doesn’t even have a name – and probably won’t have one next year, according to a report. The Giants have a quarterback who boasts four wins in 19 starts, three of them against Washington. I honestly don’t know who that statistic speaks of worse, but for the sake of debate, I will say that of the two.
In every family there is a bar of soap that is made from many bars of soap, and I can’t think of a better way to describe the current state of the Eagles. A Frankenstein that, unlike the real Frankenstein, does not scare anyone. The team is pure heart, you have to give them that, but they don’t have anything else.
And then there are the Cowboys. Los Cowboys, oh my friends, those are material for a tragicomedy like the ones your grandmother used to watch.
They didn’t want to pay their quarterback for not being good enough, only to find that he was once he broke his ankle. They paid a runner to carry the team, but did not warn him that he also had to carry the ball, and they recruited a phenomenal receiver who now receives “passes” from “Canelo” Álvarez’s bastard brother.
And that’s just what you see. What is not seen, as it usually happens, is better. On Tuesday several players gave anonymous statements about Mike McCarthy and his coaching staff that seem like the work report of your partner the most inept: “Total lack of preparation.” “They have no capacity to adjust at the moment.” And, best of all, “They just aren’t good at their job.”
It’s been six weeks and, as incredible as it may seem, they are divisional leaders. Despite that, the team has detonated at record speed. You might even think they miss Jason Garrett. And, my friends, there is nothing sadder than missing Jason Garrett.
Well, maybe just the current state of the NFC East and, of course, Iván Pirrón’s picks.
These are not so sad:
Game of the week
Steelers (-2) in Tennessee: Everything seems to indicate that the wait was worth it. A game that was originally scheduled for week 3, Between two undefeated teams that had not yet shown their full potential, he had to move until Sunday because of the coronabitch. It may well have been a hidden blessing.
Now the last two undefeated teams in the AFC meet. Two teams with perfect marks in their own right. Two completely different teams.
The undefeated Titans is almost exclusively the work of an attack that has reactivated the scoring machine that was in the second half of last season at the hands of Derrick Henry. Four straight games with more than 31 points, the last two with 42, and in all of them with at least 123 yards rushing. Tennessee runs first and passes later. The problem is that he also knows what to do with the ball in the air and Ryan Tannehill has shown that he knows how to use all the weapons at his disposal.
Against, they won’t have star left tackle Taylor Lewan, and when you go up against TJ Watt and Bud Dupree, that can be a major problem.
Pittsburgh, in every sense, will have its hands full. But it has the elements to compete. Their defense is the third best in the league, they are second against the race and last Sunday they stopped the best running game in the NFL. But on the other side is not this time Baker Mayfield, but a much more capable quarterback. But the Steelers have a way of fighting that, too. They have 24 sacks, at least 3 in each game, and eight interceptions, at least one per game.
Contrary, they won’t have brilliant linebacker Devin Bush to patrol the midfield, basically the path of Hurricane Henry. It is not a favorable outlook.
The key to open the game is simple. Pittsburgh will have to apply the same formula as last Sunday, find a way to slow down _ or at least contain _ Henry (easier said than done) and let Tannehill go to the air, where he will greatly resent the absence of his bodyguard. If the Steelers are unable to prevent a consistent run on the ground, caput, finite, the end.
El Pick: Pittsburgh 37-34 Titans.
Insurance of the week
Bills (-13) in NY Jets: Serious question, are Jets organic or inorganic trash? Bills 30-10 Jets.
Surprise of the week
Lions and Atlanta (-3): Two teams that have mastered the art of wasting advantages. Only one will be successful. Lions 28-24 Falcons.
Los TurboPicks
Giants en Philadelphia (-3.5): The Eagles’ offense has more holes than Valentin Elizalde’s truck, but they have pride. That might be enough in the NFC East. Eagles 26-21 Giants.
Browns (-3) en Cincinnati: A game tailored to Baker Mayfield. A mediocre opponent for a mediocre quarterback. Browns 36-28 Bengals.
Panthers and N. Orleans (-7): Michael Thomas returns to the lineup. It is all we need to know. Saints 34-26 Panthers.
Cowboys (-1.5) en Washington: The Cowboys are a combination of a cold with diarrhea, a potential disaster. WFT 24-20 Cowboys.
Packers (-3.5) en HoustonIronically, the Texans are the only ones in all of Texas who don’t have enough guns. Packers 41-34 Texans.
Seahawks (-4) en Arizona: The Cards face their first real test on the schedule. They will fail. Seahawks 31-24 Cardinals.
49ers at N. England (-3): These 49ers are going to be more uncomfortable than watching an erotic movie with your in-laws. Patriots 24-20 49ers.
Chiefs (-9.5) in Denver: The Chiefs have a tendency to downsize to their competition. That doesn’t mean they are going to lose. Chiefs 28-23 Broncos.
Jaguars en L.A. Chargers (-8.5): One of these teams is moving in the right direction, the other is the Jaguars. Chargers 32-23 Jacksonville.
Buccaneers (-3) at Las Vegas: I’m not even going to try to justify this, because I don’t have how. Let’s call it a hunch. Raiders 31-28 Bucs.
Bears en L.A. Rams (-5.5): The Bears defense is VERY good, but their offensive line is not. And when Aaron Donald is in front, that’s a problem. Rams 24-21 Bears.
#StayHome as: Colts (4-2), Dolphins (3-3), Vikings (1-5) and Ravens (5-1).
DeTocho’s Bet
Packers -3.5
Jaguars/Chargers OVER de 49
Seahawks -4
Picks Race:
Week 6
Pyrrho: 7-7
DeTocho: 8-6
In the season:
Pyrrho: 55-36
DeTocho: 62-29
Against the spread:
Week 6
Pyrrho: 3-9-2
DeTocho: 5-9
In the season:
Pyrrho: 33-51-7
DeTocho: 50-39-2
