NBA, Disney Squander Testing Resources while Florida residents die in record numbers

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Illustration: AP / Getty

Here is where we left Florida, which is a horrible place ruled by idiots:

  • NBA players, crammed into an incredibly close space, are avoiding illness
  • An entire professional football league is grouped along the way, also trying to avoid a plague
  • Everything is for nothing: the cold hand of Death spares no man

With that in mind, for the purpose of the conversation, let’s assume that do not die as long as possible it’s a good thing. I italicized that sentence, because it’s important. I will also go ahead and italics his corollary, being alive is better than being dead, another point milestone at your fingertips. Good? Let’s proceed, then.

Following the above, we come to our next step in this half syllogism: It is important to know when you have an illness that could kill you. Yes, mark one for the scientific method! Being aware of a potentially fatal ailment is helpful in setting up a course of treatment against it. Let’s extrapolate a little: The faster a disease can kill you, the more important it is to know it.

This last piece is what brings us back to Florida, America’s overly safe penis.

The state of Florida has reported yesterday other COVID-19 deaths than any other day so far. His ICU beds are capable of more 50 hospitals. And more than 8,300 people are currently hospitalized due to COVID.

And with the Trump White House now evading the Centers for Disease Control by ordering hospitals in report your coronavirus data directly to the Department of Health and Human Services – an arm of the Trump administration – we probably won’t know what the current numbers will be for Florida or any other state.

As fate would have liked, coronavirus kills many older people than young people! This is another important thing to consider! Guess what, though: there are not enough testing go around Florida, a miserable wasteland.

Residents, including four million people over the age of 65, are waiting to do so two weeks for test results! It’s a fucking for a long time, which makes it dangerous, particularly for the elderly! People are will die unnecessarily, and there are not enough cursive in the world to connote the seething fury this deserves!

Meanwhile, players from the Disney athlete’s Stupid Bubble are tested every day. Several times a day, too. Lab technicians are changing these tests in two days or less. This equates to thousands of tests performed on people who have not justified need to be close to Florida right now as the state struggles with a crisis.

How many other crucial and limited resources in Florida, Disney and professional sports will direct to the nonsense of bread and circus? State residents are mortally ill. Think back to our first proposal: not dying as long as possible is a good thing. These cheaters are wasting thousands of test kits and valuable laboratory bandwidth for television entertainment reasons.

The following people are gluttons. Throw them the dairy products:

  • Adam Silver, NBA commissioner
  • Don Garber, MLS Commissioner
  • Ron DeSantis, governor of Florida

Mickey and the human family members who make his offerings have surpassed the world. Again.

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