Record celebrations for Manchester United, misery of West Ham and Liverpool

* He mumbles to himself ‘I would prefer This football of no football at all ‘*

Honestly, I would.

I even started to accept the “crowd noise” that is transmitted during the games – I mean, I would prefer this rather than hearing yet another explosive head of David Luiz every time the ball approaches him.

I think we can call it a rare week in football – a week in which we officially took off our caps at Liverpool Football Club, which won the English Premier League for the first time in its history.

You may have lost the news after all the media has been fairly understated about it. It is almost as if there had been about a million articles written in 100 days without football just waiting to be published as soon as it was done.

And fact is, well and truly.

When Willian, a player that Liverpool wanted so much back in the day and Chelsea pinched from under the nose, scored the winning penalty against Man City Liverpool fans of all ages were able to shake off the ’30 years of injury ‘that they had felt since the last raising the upper flight trophy.

As we have always heard several times, if I had told a Liverpool fan that the 1989/90 season would be the last time they would have been championship champions, they would have thought I was crazy like Graeme Souness thinking Istvan Kozma was a player.

But it happened. The monkey is behind them. And their 4-0 win against Uncle Roy’s Palace had everything missing against Everton in the derby. Well, mainly goals. Four of them.

What can you do when the right back is able to curl free kicks at home like that? What can you do when the midfielder holds a glorious assist on a plate for Mo Salah before tying a 30-yard man himself?

Not much, it would seem – and City eventually conceded the title he needed snooker against Chelsea.

In many ways, it seemed like a season to do only after rebooting – understandably. Likewise, you need to give Liverpool some credit for being able to rock three months later than expected and just get the job done.

Thank you, unless you are Ole Gunnar Solskjaer of course – who reminded Liverpool the next day that it would be unlikely that the 1920s would dominate as United dominated the 1990s. Ole classic, reminding the world how good United are Used to be.

The week started with City beating Burnley, which meant Liverpool couldn’t be crowned home champion at Palace – I always thought City was going to be amazing to watch in training and with games that looked like glorified training sessions at moment, we managed to see them in all their pomp.

Leicester has to hope football hasn’t come back so soon – they’ve only won once out of seven now, which means the teams underneath them must smell the blood. It would have been even worse for them if the current Premier League pantomime villain Neal Maupay had scored from the spot.

At Tottenham, one thing that is guaranteed to kick off a late run for Champions League spots is a home game against West Ham United.

Spurs was allowed to be clearly average but still get all three points – which was pretty much expected even before David Moyes decided to play Mark Noble as a “10”, the type of team selection that screams ‘Withdrawal’.

Sure, VAR went a little bit against them, but if you also let an unsuitable Harry Kane snap you from the middle line, then you have to look very long in the mirror.

At this time, you would assume that Sheffield United was happy to have already scored 40 points.

Manchester United broke some records at Old Trafford – being the first team to make a quintuple substitution (I think) in English football and scoring the first hat-trick since Sir Alex called her one day. Anthony Martial got high and I’m pretty sure we saw him smile.

Newcastle still challenge the Premier League numbers – at the bottom of every single table when looking at any type of statistic, they somehow keep getting points on the scoreboard. Mind you, when Andy Carroll has more assists than Mesut Ozil, you know that something is going well.

Norwich had that sinking feeling: you know you’re going down when Michael Keane is the winner of a game against you.

Now, I often wonder if the Premier League teams are exploring the opposition and I often assumed that Bournemouth would have been in all that sort of thing, given how long they have managed to stay in the Premier League for so long.

However, they must have missed the point where Adama Traore snapped in the lower right corner and crossed for the winner against West Ham as they let the Wolves man do exactly the same in Molineux condemning the Cherries for yet another defeat.

Okay, okay – knowing what Traore will do and stopping him are two different things, that’s true. However, Bournemouth needs a better strategy than you hope West Ham will end up ruining more often than they do between today and the end of July.

The weekend gave us the FA Cup and the games of the FA Cup were played the first time in June.

Their home draw against Man United summed up Norwich even more than leaving Keane unsigned this week.

The Canaries played well, frustrating United. Yes, Ighalo scored a nice ending but Norwich was in this. Todd Cantwell added some other admirers to his “please save me from relegation” list with an equalizer that David de Gea could have saved too.

And then they sent an expelled man.

United became the first team to make six subtitles in an English game and it seemed that each of them should be a striker given the number of players on the field by the end of overtime.

Ironically, it was Harry Maguire who shuffled a winner at home. Does United play badly and win games? Much Liverpool of them.

When Arsenal committed the stereotypical sin of being the the David McGoldrick team finally scored against that you would support the Blades to continue and dent the victory.

However, somewhere no one knew it existed, Arsenal found some bottle, some backbone and continued to win on their own in the sense that they are in the semi-finals of the FA Cup. I do not know. I haven’t seen it coming either.

Chelsea are becoming quite the FA Cup team if you hear a statistic for the first time.

One last win until 1997 (or something like that), seven more since then. It’s one every three years or so. What does this tell us?

That it was no surprise that they beat Leicester on Sunday and moved on to the semifinals – that’s what.

And while Newcastle could beat the statistics and confuse critics in the league, the FA Cup has been a different story.

To be honest, they had a plan and that plan worked until Fabian Schar thought that giving Jesus two hands in the back was a good idea. However, it gave commentators the opportunity to remind us (again) that it was Kevin de Bruyne’s birthday as if a professional player had never played on his special day ever before.

If Dwight Gayle had managed not to position him 90 meters above the five-yard bar, the game could have been different and you knew that City would have scored the second in a few minutes from the missed one – and it was Raheem Sterling who gave the shot.

The city may not win the league, but they appear to be nailed down for the FA Cup.

Over the weekend the Premier League went as usual, really – and that meant the defeat of Aston Villa (1-0 against the wolves) and the goal by Danny Ings for free kicks at Southampton and James Ward -Prowse. Ings scored two goals in a 3-1 victory over Southampton which kept Watford very much in the relegation chat.